dumb joke

[doug7488]

Several centuries ago, the Pope issued a decree requiring all Jews to either convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. This decision sparked widespread outrage within the Jewish community. In response, the Pope proposed a compromise: he would engage in a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could remain in Italy; if the Pope won, they would have to convert or leave.


The Jewish community convened and selected an elderly, wise Rabbi to represent them. However, there was a catch: the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew. To overcome this, they agreed to hold a "silent" debate.


On the appointed day, the Pope and the Rabbi sat facing each other. The Pope raised his hand and held up three fingers. The Rabbi responded by raising one finger. Next, the Pope waved his finger in a circle around his head. The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat. Finally, the Pope produced a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. In reply, the Rabbi pulled out an apple.


At this point, the Pope stood up and conceded defeat, declaring the Rabbi too clever. The Jews were granted permission to stay in Italy. Later, the cardinals gathered around the Pope, eager to understand what had transpired.


The Pope explained, "First, I held up three fingers to symbolize the Holy Trinity. The Rabbi responded with one finger, reminding me that there is only one God shared by both our faiths. Then, I waved my finger around my head to signify that God is everywhere. He pointed to the ground, indicating that God is also right here with us. Finally, I presented the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of our sins. He responded with an apple, reminding me of the original sin. He outmaneuvered me at every turn, and I had no choice but to concede."


Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered around the Rabbi, eager to hear how he had achieved such a victory. "I have no idea!" the Rabbi exclaimed. "First, he held up three fingers, suggesting we had three days to leave Italy, so I gave him the finger to show we weren’t going anywhere. Then, he waved his finger around, implying the entire country would be cleared of Jews, so I pointed to the ground to say we’re staying right here."


"And then what happened?" someone asked.


"Who knows!" the Rabbi replied. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine!"

[David]

That joke has been a favorite of mine for a long time

[doug7488]

[doug7488]

A blonde is driving down the Interstate when she suddenly gets a flat tire.


She carefully steers her car onto the shoulder, steps out, and opens the trunk.


After rummaging around for a moment, she pulls out two life-sized cardboard cutouts of men wearing trench coats. She unfolds them and positions them at the back of her car, facing oncoming traffic.


The cutouts depict the men flashing their nude bodies, and within minutes, traffic slows to a crawl as drivers slam on their brakes in shock.


Before long, a police officer pulls up, sirens blaring. Clearly irritated, he storms up to the blonde and demands, “Ma’am, what the hell is going on here?”


She gestures at her car and replies, “I got a flat tire, Officer.”


The officer points at the cardboard figures. “And what are *those* supposed to be?”


Rolling her eyes, she sighs, “Helloooo… they’re my emergency flashers!”

[doug7488]

[doug7488]

[doug7488]

[doug7488]

[NICE PAIR]

Wow Doug! that is pretty dumb for this early. "Good Job"

[CDave]

Why do melons have weddings? They cantaloupe.

I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.

What do mermaids use to wash their fins? Tide.

Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can't jump.

I found a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems. So I bought two.

Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They're making headlines.

[doug7488]

[doug7488]

[rock]

Duck walks into a bar and asks, "Do you have any duck food" Bartender says no so duck leaves. Duck is back next day, "Do you have any duck food?" bartender says no so duck leaves. Duck is back next day and asks, "Do you have any duck food?" Bartender says "You have been here the past two days asking for duck food. I have none and if you ask again I am going to nail your feet to the floor." Duck leaves but is back the next day and asks, "Do you have any nails?" Bartender says no. Duck asks "Do you have any duck food?"

[doug7488]

[doug7488]