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  1. #16
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    I am with the others, please write as much as you wish ...

    And we need to all pitch in and get Parker a scanner
    22' Activator w/ 250xs Merc Opti, back home again

  2. #17
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    I agree...

    Love the stories. Keep em comin'

    Parker....you could take a lil out of the sale of your ride and buy a cheap scanner man....I've got one here at the house also if you need some help with that. Just get up with me. Let me know if I can help. I'd like to see more on the Hammer Down stuff also.
    Smith's Bend Scoundrel

    '88/'11 Reaction 19, '88 Merc 200 "Jus' Toodlin'"
    '83 Hydrostream Varmint, '88 Merc 200 "Jus Triflin'"

  3. #18
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    Lightbulb

    I Know!!! Im Waiting For Lake Racer 99 To Post The Rest Of Them !
    SEEBOLD CHAMPBOAT MERCURY S3000

  4. #19
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    Great Stories result from Stupid Acts...If you survive

    I have at least 5 stories that fit this category. In 4 of them, nobody got hurt. Sad to say, the other one was tragic. I will post them individually and it may take me until later tonight of even tomorrow to post them all..............Very early during my time with Kiekhaefer I was running endurance out of the Siesta Key.....Ooops gotta go...back in about an hour or two....-Steve

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  6. #20
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    These are great. Keep it up. Reminds me of sitting around with my grandpaw and listing to his great stories. These are the best. THANKS FOR SHARING

  7. #21
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    I'm Baaaack

    OK, so we were running endurance out of Siesta Key. Gene Wagner was the boss there and he would see us off early AM. There would be 4 or 5 of us and we would be running anywhere from 20 to 50mph depending on what engines we were testing. Several years prior one of the endurance driver had the sun in his eyes as he went under the Siesta Key Bridge and ran over a fisherman causing serious injuries. Well, Gene was always worried that such an event would recur. Anyway, Pete Brogan was running a Alim with twin big mercs and I was running a small cat with twin small mercs. He would have been running around 50mph and I was probably doing 35. Pete decided that he would wash me down. I'm sure most of you know how that is done. He is head on to me when he started a big arc to set me up. Seeing this, I decided to counter. Take it from me, never turn into someone that is trying to wash you down. Always turn the opposite direction. We met in the middle of the turn and I literally went through his boat doing much damage and taking out one of his engines. Fortunately neither of us got hurt. As we came to a stop, Pete was livid. He was screaming something about having a family to feed and how he needed this job. Wisely I kept my distance. I told Pete, "Don't worry about it. I'm single. I'll take all the blame". I got out of there and headed back to the base at my stately 35mph while Pete limped back off-plane. When I got back I approached Gene and told him I had bad news. The blood immediatly started to leave his face. When I told him I had been involved in a collision, he turned ashen. No doubt he thought I had run over a fisherman. When I told him I had only run over Pete he was so relieved that he didn't even fire me. However, I can tell you that it is no fun climbing under the deck of a small cat and grinding fiberglass for an hour or two. Being my first experience grinding fiberglass, I didn't know what I was in for until later. Jumping off the dock and staying in salt water for an hour does not help one bit. Follow this bit of advice from me that I learned 8 years later in USAF pilot training. If you are closing on another airplane (or boat), make note of whether or not he is moving on your canopy. If he is stationary on your canopy (or windshield) and you never change the geometry, you are in big trouble.
    Last edited by seeroy; 09-08-2008 at 05:02 PM.

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  9. #22
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    Ted Collins is my grandfather....he talks a bit about his Lake X days, I always enjoy watching the old movies from the demo days out there when they would show off for the corporate big wigs....12' tiller steer jon boats jumping ramps and stuff like that...I've been out there twice, heck I live close enough that I could hear the boats running when the wind was coming from the right direction....It's funny as heck when he starts talking about Mr K screaming at techs at Fond-du-lac when a motor blew up on his lake!

  10. #23
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    Phil is Just Hangin' Out

    This is probably the stupidest thing I ever did in my life. Well, maybe not the stupidest, but it ranks right up there. Driving endurance at Lake X on the midnight shift and the sky is beginnig to lighten up enough to see without lights. Phil Schenk had pulled off to the inside of the course at the South end of the lake. As we often did, I pulled off and rafted up with him to talk. Phil went to the transom and proceeded to relieve himself over the edge. There must have been an evil demon sitting on my shoulder and whispering into my ear. Without thinking, I acted on an sudden impulse to reach into his boat an jam the shift/throttle lever full forward. You know it's kind of like that urge to laugh when someone falls down. For about a micro second it was funny. Then I noticed that Phil was hangin' out the back of the boat (in more ways than one) and fighting to get himself and it back in. Meanwhile he was screaming something akin to what Pete Brogan was screaming in the previous story. Fortunately, neither Phil nor any part of his body was injured. At least I don't Think he or it was. This was another occurance in which I felt it wise to keep some distance between my victim and me. Once accept some advice from a guy who has managed to survive 61 years on this planet. Never act on a sudden impulse! There is a difference between the sane and the insane. I have always believed that everyone has a rare moment when some foolish thought run through your mind. The difference is that the sane man laughs at himself but does not act on it. The insane man does. Everybody knows that every boat racer has just a little bit of insanity lying just below the surface. There is an old saying that runs in aviation circles. "There are plenty of old pilots, and plenty of bold pilots, but very few old bold pilots." Personally, I believe that you must be bold to compete and win in the world of racing. Bill was bold, but he always knew when to lay back and let the other guy destroy his equipment. Sidelight here: Bill always had lots of humorous one liners. One that I thought was particularly funny and self-effacing was, "It's not very big around, but it sure is short". Later Gators......Best regards - Steve Sirois
    Last edited by seeroy; 07-17-2006 at 01:42 PM.

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  12. #24
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    Ted Collins

    Awesome Bullet - Let me tell you, your Grandfather is a very good man. Several years ago I was passing through St Cloud and looked him up. We had a nice talk. Sorry everyone but Awesome B. just made me remember a totally different and totally stupid thing that I did. I think it was Ralph Seavey and I that had been in St Cloud for many hours day-drinking and enjoying the cowboy hospitality of the J&A Bar. I once saw a well oiled cowboy ride his horse right through the front door. His act was well recieved by the clientele and I nearly fell off the bar stool laughing. Anyway, Ralph and I decided it was about time to make our way back to the lake in my early '60s Corvair. Damn that car was fun to drive. It was even more fun when the "Whiskey Man" was riding on my shoulder and whispering into my ear. I don't know if you have ever had that experience, but he tends to tell you that you have super-human talents. He told me that I could drive the entire distance from the Lake X turn off to the lake gate without ever actually getting on the pavement. I guess that was another time when I let myself slip across that thin line into the world of the insane. The weeds along the roadside were roughly the same height of a full grown Corvair. Therefore, for about 5 miles, all we saw was the weeds at the distance from the windshield to the front bumper. From the road, it must have looked like a wild pig running through the weeds. The amazing thing is that we actually made it to within a hundred yards of the gate when we re-emerged onto the pavement and gathered enough speed to fully engage the emergency brake and spin the steering wheel full left, thus causing the white Corvair to wildly spin in a screeching 180 degree turn amid great clouds of smoke and gales of laughter coming from the two idiots inside. We finally came to a dead stop directly in front of the gate and facing the other way. When everything finally got quiet anyone could still hear us laughing from a some distance. That included Mrs. Kiekhaefer and Anita Kiekhaefer who were both standing at the gate with stunned looks on their faces. Ralph and I suddenly realized that we would probably be packing our stuff very soon. Upon awakening the next day we were summoned to the main affice for a visit with Awesome Bullet's Grandfather (Ted Collins, the Boss). Ted was always a very laid back gentleman. He very quietly asked if anything exciting had happened to us the previous evening. I immediatly replied. "I cannot tell a lie. He did it." and I pointed at Ralph. Much to my relief, Ted laughed and simply said, "You guys need to take it a little easy. Get back to work." I think we both bowed several time as we backed out of the office. Soooooo, Awesome Bullet, the next time you see your Grandfather, tell him how grateful I am to this very day that he saw fit to have mercy on a couple of idiots 40+ years ago. That's all for tonight folks. Best Regards from someone that survived his own stupidity many years ago, but is around to laugh about it today. - Steve Sirois

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  14. #25
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    I always believed it is much better to be foolish at a younger age

    We're like rubber. When it's new, it's REAL flexible. When it's gettin' on in age, NOT so flexible

    Thanks for sharing Steve
    Eldest Moron Brother
    SOLD 95 Euroski
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    Delta w/ 75 Stinger 55+

    RIP RPM Racing

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  16. #26
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    Iris says, "Be Careful"

    The woman who literally changed my life 31 years ago and my wife of 30 years, reminded me late last night of 2 things. #1: Be a little careful of what you say in that forum. People may think you were a drunk. and #2: Don't get a big head just because some may enjoy your stories. As usual, she is right. As to #1, things were definately wild and wooly in the '60s. I was in my late teens and early 20's. There was not the stigma attached to alcohol as there is today. How we survived in those days was usually only by luck, and I certainly had my share of that. I have always believed that you change with the times or you die. Believe me when I say that I have changed with the times. How else could I have evolved through several stages to end up as a School Safety Inspector. However, I'm don't believe that I would have made it through those evolutions were it not for Iris. I know that may sound corney, but it is true. I love her dearly. As to #2, The only thing better than telling a good story, is realizing that someone might actually enjoy it. However if I get too wound up, as I sometimes still do, tell me to cool it. - Steve

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  18. #27
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    Keep it coming, this is the best read that has been on here in a long long time.

    RT
    He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

  19. #28
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    Turn left 270 degrees and a little earlier

    I Don't remember exactly when this event occured but it really doesn't matter. I drove the midnight shift endurance for 9 straight months. That was a lot better than rotating through shifts every week. Actually I eventually got used to it and enjoyed it. We used to do a lot of reading while driving endurance. I must have read a hundred books during that 9 months. I took one of those little 12 volt lamps that you strap to your head and attached a long cord with alligator clips on the end. I could reach under the deck and attach them to the terminals on the back of the boat headlight switch. Joe Anderson told us not to read while driving but we did it anyway. Early one morning as the sun was coming up and I was cruising along at full speed, I sensed a presence. I looked to my right, and there was Joe tucked in about ten feet to my right. I don't know how long he had been there but when I looked up and saw him he just peeled off. I thought I was in trouble, but he never even said a word about it. On another occasion, I had driven to Miami and back during the day to pick up a boat for the Company. I got back to the Lake just in time to start my midnight shift at 11:30PM. Usually you would settle into an almost trance-like state during the night. Sometimes you didn't even remember the last couple of laps. I think it was about 3:00AM as I was going down the backstretch that I observed an overpass over the trees at the end of the lake and I was headed for it when a Greyhound Bus passed me on the right. WOW! That woke me up. Several guys ran into the trees while driving the night shift. That usually resulted in getting sent down the road with your bags. Fortunately, I never had that experience. However, I came very close one night. We were testing the prototype Super-Speedmasters. We had two Merc 6's (I don't remember if they were 1250's or 1350's) on the back of a 19' S-22 and it ran in the mid 60's, which can be kind of neat in the middle of the night. When you pulled out of the slip at Lake X, you would cross the course and do a left 270 degree turn onto the course. I guess I zoned out a little early one night because I pulled out of the slip and just went straight. The lake is only about 1/2 mile wide at that point, so it didn't take long before I was staring at trees, but only for about 1/2 of a second. Boat Racers always turn left (By the way, so do Fighter Pilots) and that's what I did. Rather abruptly I might add. Seems that the boat didn't want to cooperate and responded by swapping ends. Naturally, when the boat went hard left, my body kept going straight. At least until my head met the gunwale. A few seconds later I came to my senses and discovered that I was still in the boat with my head under the well and the engines were screaming as the props cavitated about a foot behind me. I managed to get up and pull the throttles back. I eased back across the Lake and into the slip and told the midnight Mechanic (Ed Luthie) that I had a bodacious headache. I sat down for awhile with an ice pack on my head and then went back out on the lake for the rest of the night. At least I didn't end up in the trees. Anyway, that's one more stupid act the turned into a good story. For the next story, I was not in a boat, but if you were at the Offshore Worlds in Key West one year you might have witnessed it. Best Regards - Steve

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  21. #29
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    Straight up in Full Afterburner!

    Next Stupid Act. Fast forward a decade or more. Bill is with Al Copeland (Popeyes) and they are making a go at the Offshore Worlds in Key West. By then I had left the world of Boat Racing and had entered a different world. In 1970 I had attended USAF pilot training. That was an interesting year at Craig AFB in Selma, Alabama. I could talk about that and the next 28 years forever. Next I checked out in the F-102 and flew it with the Florida Air National Guard in Jacksonville for 3 years before transitioning into the F-106. If you want to know a little about the Six just type F-106 Delta Dart into Google. What an incredible machine. Single engine, single seat and Mach 2. They didn't call it the Cadillac of fighters for nothing. I had the ethereal pleasure of flying the Six for 10 years before kidney stones said no more single seat fighters for you Bub. After that I flew 3 different transports (C-131, C-130, C-26) for another 14 years. Anyway, Back to Key West. I managed to wrangle a Six to go to Key West NAS (Boca Chica) on a "very important mission". I bummed a ride to Truman Annex and spent the next several hours with Bill in the pits. After which I went back to Boca Chica and fired up my trusty aluminum Dart. I took off VFR (Visual Flight Rules) and headed about 20 miles South. Let me interject something here. You have got to understand that NORAD was a little bit nervous about any unknown low and fast movers approaching from the South. Remember Cuba is only 90 miles South of Key West and they had Mig's. Since I had descended to about 300', turned North and pumped it up to about 600 Knots, I definately met that criteria. It didn't take long before I had the pits in my sight. Once I had reached about 1/2 half mile out, I lit the afterburner and pulled straight up. You have to understand that the Six is an incredibly loud aircraft when in full afterburner. My guess is that several corpses in the graveyard sat bolt upright to see what the Hell was going on. I rolled over on my back at 15,000' and filed an IFR clearance to Jax. Naturally, after the thrill had worn off, I began to see my flying carrer going down the drain. Once again I had acted on a stupid impulse. This time I was screaming at myself in much the same way that Pete Brogan and Phil Schenk had done in earlier stories. However, for the next several years, I heard comments about the crazy SOB that attacked the Offshore Worlds. The unbelievable thing is that, I was neither caught nor killed. Once again luck was with me. To this day, I still do something stupid once in awhile. But never again anything that stupid. -Steve

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  23. #30
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    I have a few older uncles (some not with us) that trained on PT's and graduated to P-51's. When they would ferry from base to base as needed, they would deviate from their course in order to drop "flour bombs" on their brothers farms.

    Quite the site when one is bailing hay...lol

    AND another foolish moment when one holds one's breathe in a questionable career move.

    Imagine some of the kids trying today, the things WE got away with when younger

    Great "truths" ie: non-fictional, stories= fictional
    Eldest Moron Brother
    SOLD 95 Euroski
    99 2.5 280+

    Delta w/ 75 Stinger 55+

    RIP RPM Racing

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