dumb joke

**Forkin' Crazy** · 12-08-2019, 12:08 AM

The Cat

Hubby and I felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.' The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come to get her.

My hubby (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him.
My hubby and my Vet don't see eye to eye.

The vet calls my hubby 'El-Cheap-O', and my hubby calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'. They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another. It's a contest of who can get the better of the other.

The next day my hubby had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building, next door to the vet.

The Dr's waiting room and office was full of people waiting. A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my hubby arrive.

He looked straight at my hubby and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose! Oh, and, by the way, she's pregnant! God only knows who the father is!'

THEN HE CLOSED THE DOOR.

**Forkin' Crazy** · 12-23-2019, 11:22 PM

New research links cat ownership with schizophrenia.
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I have multiple cats and I feel totally fine.
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So do I.
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.Me too.

**Forkin' Crazy** · 01-26-2020, 02:46 PM

Most people are assholes...Don’t believe me.??

Next time you see a group of people, yell out...

“Hey Asshole”.....They’ll all look!!

**Forkin' Crazy** · 04-02-2020, 08:53 PM

I've started taking off my pajamas before going to bed at night because I don't want to sleep in my best work clothes!

**Forkin' Crazy** · 04-07-2020, 12:12 AM

My wife visited a monastery and as she walked past the kitchen she saw a man frying chips. She asked him "Are you the friar? He replied, "No, I'm the chip monk."

**AZMIDLYF** · 04-07-2020, 12:11 PM

**racervboat** · 04-07-2020, 01:10 PM

What's the difference between a whore and a bitch. A whore will screw anybody and a bitch will screw anybody BUT YOU.

**CDave** · 04-07-2020, 06:22 PM

Q: What weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
A: The water. Butane is a lighter fluid.

I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store. Clothes, but no cigar.

I was gonna tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

**Forkin' Crazy** · 04-09-2020, 04:29 PM

I SCORED!!! Went into the local grocery, came out with 2 CASES OF BEER and 2 BAGS OF BBQ POTATO CHIPS!!!

I am good for DAYS!!! ��

**racervboat** · 04-09-2020, 04:39 PM

Ya saved on kingsford charcoal briquettes for sure,takes a lot to get them chips bbq'd

**SUNKIST** · 05-15-2020, 08:32 AM

all you have to do is say..... FBI, DOJ, FISA, CDC, FDA, FAA, EPA, CIA, NIH....all these agencies are big jokes

wont be so funny when you go to prison.....

yeah too funny

**Forkin' Crazy** · 05-24-2020, 08:17 PM

I called a psychic to make an appointment.
She answered, "Hello?"
I didn't say anything.
She said, "Hello?"
I didn't say anything.
She asked, "Who is this?"
I hung up.

**CDave** · 06-01-2020, 10:09 AM

Q: How does Moses make coffee?

A: Hebrews it.

**Forkin' Crazy** · 06-19-2020, 05:09 PM

With all the people being so easily offended these days from Aunt Jemima to Uncle Ben, how long before someone protests Jimmy Dean showing us his sausage?