dumb joke

[Forkin' Crazy]

So I am reading the remarks on the story about a killer whale autopsy done on a killer whale that washed up dead on a Florida beach when I read this remark.

The experts from Sea World also found no gap in its two front teeth and immediately ruled out it was Stacy Abrams.

[doug7488]

Remember when you were a kid and the TV stopped working?
You'd bang it a few times and it would work again?

Well I tried that with my dishwasher-
Unfortuntaly she turned up pregnant

[Forkin' Crazy]

These are actual comments made by Georgia State Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
4. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that will be chasing you."
5. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
6. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
7. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
9. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
10. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
11. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
12. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
13. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
14. "You say you thought we didn't give tickets to pretty women? That's actually true. Now, sign here."

[rock]

Last one's the best.

Rock

[doug7488]

I went to visit a buddy at the hospital today
It wasn’t long before i was asked to leave
Apparently the “Stroke Patients Here” sign doesn’t mean what I thought it did

[CDave]

What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod.

Why do milking stools only have three legs?
‘Cause the cow’s got the udder!

Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels!

[Forkin' Crazy]

I was at my bank today; there was a short line.

There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.

It was obvious she was a little irritated.

She asked the teller, "Why it change?

Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen.

Today I only get hunat eighty?

Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

[Forkin' Crazy]

I recently spent $6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.

Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a look at him. He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young.

So he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days……. all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!

I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ... but they kind of taste like peppermint.

[Dave S]

HaaaaHaaaa........got ya .......

https://www.ebay.com/itm/26577129119...Bk9SR66wl-LLYQ

[Dave S]

NO i am not.... on drugs............Cool car..........The joker.........

https://www.ebay.com/itm/26577129119...Bk9SR66wl-LLYQ

[Forkin' Crazy]

NO i am not.... on drugs............Cool car..........The joker.........

https://www.ebay.com/itm/26577129119...Bk9SR66wl-LLYQ

What motor? I know some of those AMC motors you cannot get parts for. I guess if you pockets are deep enough you have parts made or repower.

[racervboat]

Gotta be on drugs to own a 74 matador and thinks it's a muscle car.hahaha

[CDave]

Q: What is the wettest animal?

A: Reindeer

[SUNKIST]

this one worked well for me...

I was asking my girl about the holidays and asked her... if your left leg was thanksgiving...and your right leg is christmas...can i visit you inbetween the holidays...she always says yes...

[CDave]

Q: What does a cow use to do math?

A: A cow-culator.



Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

A: Of course! Buildings can’t jump, silly.


Q: What do you call a kangaroo’s lazy joey?

A: A pouch potato.


Q: What did the photon say when asked if she needed to check a bag?

A: “No thanks, I’m traveling light!”