dumb joke

[racervboat]

How much snow does it take to declare a snow day in Texas......

a pint

I think you may be mistaken frank,that sounds like the UK to me.

[FMP]

I think you may be mistaken frank,that sounds like the UK to me.

Suppose to be dumb......ok 2 pints

[racervboat]

Suppose to be dumb......ok 2 pints

Dumb azz me your right. hahaha

[FMP]

HA!!!!

Here's a old one
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says “Hey, what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint. Come up and join me.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey, and they have another joint. After a while, the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans over too far and falls in. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard “What’s the matter with you!?”*

The lizard explains that he was up in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!” The monkey looks down and says “OMG! DUUUUDE …. HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK?!”

[racervboat]

HA!!!!

Here's a old one
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says “Hey, what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint. Come up and join me.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey, and they have another joint. After a while, the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans over too far and falls in. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard “What’s the matter with you!?”*

The lizard explains that he was up in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!” The monkey looks down and says “OMG! DUUUUDE …. HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK?!”

More then two pints. Monkey and lizard must be from texas.

[FMP]

Good one!

[CDave]

Q:When does a joke become a Dad joke?

A:When it becomes aparent.

[Forkin' Crazy]

Why was Mayberry such a happy place???

Because no one was married but Otis, and he was a drunk!

[racervboat]

Why was Mayberry such a happy place???

Because no one was married but Otis, and he was a drunk!

Yep come to think of it none of those mofo's were married.Not even Bee.hahaha How you going to get married with those haircuts.

[Forkin' Crazy]

Yep come to think of it none of those mofo's were married.Not even Bee.hahaha How you going to get married with those haircuts.

Barney's GF was kind of hot... So was Andy's...

And Aunt Bee if you backed her into a corner!!!!

I know, I know...............

[rock]

Boy goes up to grandpa and asks "what is the quickest way to get to the beach" grandpa asks "you driving or walking?" the boy replies "were driving". garndpa says "that's the quickest way."

Rock

[doug7488]

Did you guys know I had my penis in the Guinness Book of World Records?

Then the librarian came over and told me to leave

[doug7488]

I just hope that when it’s my time to die, it will be in my sleep, like my dear old Grandpa did
Not screaming and terrified like the people in the car he was driving

[doug7488]

Do this good ol’ boy is at the saloon bragging about what a great hunter he is
So great in fact that he can name the animal and weapon used to kill it
BS! his friends cried
If you can do that, drinks are on the house!
So they blind fold him
First up - “Squirrel- shot with a .22”
He gets it right!
Second - “rabbit - .410 shot gun”
Again he’s right!
Last up - “Buck - 30.06”
Hooray! Three in a row!
He’s drinking all night for Free!
He staggers home, passes out in bed
Next morning he
wakes up, he’s all F’d up
Face scratched, black eye, etc.
He asks his wife- “Darlin’ I know I was trashed last night, but I don’t remember gettin’ in no fight?”
she says “ You SOB, you don’t remember? You came
home all hot & horny. We start foolin’ around. Next thing I know you got your hand down my panties and say-
“Skunk - hit with an axe!”

[rock]

Man walking down the street sees a Help Wanted sign in a shop window. He runs across the street goes inside and says "What's wrong?

Rock