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Thread: dumb joke

  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robby321 View Post
    That's a good one rob,
    I may be slow but im ahead of you. *hit's only ankle deep but you went in head first.

  2. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by racervboat View Post
    That's a good one rob,
    That shouldn't be allowed

  3. #123
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    Click image for larger version. 

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  4. #124
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    When I wake up and get out of bed...

    or if I have been sitting a while and get up...

    Then stretch and snap, crackle, and pop...

    I am not old. I'm just Crispy! :


    Part two:

    If I knew I was going to live this long,

    I would have taken better care of myself!!!!

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  6. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forkin' Crazy View Post
    When I wake up and get out of bed...

    or if I have been sitting a while and get up...

    Then stretch and snap, crackle, and pop...

    I am not old. I'm just Crispy! :


    Part two:

    If I knew I was going to live this long,

    I would have taken better care of myself!!!!
    If I knew I would lived this long I REALLY would have partied my ass off!

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  8. #126
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    If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

    How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

    It’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.

    What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.

    My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?”And I told him, “No it doesn’t!”

    After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.

    “Just say NO to drugs!” Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
    -----------------------
    93 STV Mod VP/MERC 2.5 200
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    The Bible is life's instruction manual.

    Proverbs 4:18-20

    " For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people."
    -- John F. Kennedy 1962

  9. #127
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    What do you call a scared dinosaur?

    A NERVOUS REX!!!

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  11. #128
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    Kids may be a gift but I’d rather play with the box they came in.

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  13. #129
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    Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of his tractor.

    Mick says, "Oh, no Paddy, what ya doing?"

    Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."


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  15. #130
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    Q: What do you call 50 pigs and 50 deer?
    A: 100 sows and bucks.

    Q: Why do melons have weddings?
    A: Because they cantaloupe.


    Q: When does a joke become a dad joke?
    A: When it becomes apparent.

    I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
    -----------------------
    93 STV Mod VP/MERC 2.5 200
    -----
    The Bible is life's instruction manual.

    Proverbs 4:18-20

    " For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people."
    -- John F. Kennedy 1962

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  17. #131
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    So I woke up and my dog is laying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth.

    The rabbit's not bloody, just dirty.

    My neighbor's kids raise blue ribbon rabbits. I instantly knew it was one of theirs.

    I took the rabbit away from my dog, rushed inside, and washed all the dirt off it before my neighbors could come home.

    It was stiff but I heard some animals play dead when they are afraid but I couldn't remember which ones.

    I took it and placed it back in one of the cages in their back yard then I ZOOMED back home. (Don't judge me)

    Not 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming so I go out and ask them what's wrong?

    They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage.


  18. #132
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    Don't tell the younguns this one!


    What's the difference between (insert name here) & a refrigerator?
    The fridge doesn't fart when I take my meat out!
    Last edited by Smalltownbassin; 03-30-2021 at 09:10 AM.
    "The character of a man can be easily judged by how he treats those who can do nothing for him"

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  20. #133
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    What do you get when you cross a deer with a bear?


















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    Last edited by CDave; 05-11-2021 at 01:52 AM.
    -----------------------
    93 STV Mod VP/MERC 2.5 200
    -----
    The Bible is life's instruction manual.

    Proverbs 4:18-20

    " For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people."
    -- John F. Kennedy 1962

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  22. #134
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    The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.

    IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them".

    Boat Owner: "Well, there's t-boi , my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board.
    Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here.
    He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of jack Daniel's Tennessee honey and a dozen Bush Lights every Saturday night so he can cope with life.
    He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally".

    IRS AUDITOR: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one".

    Boat Owner: "That would be me. What would you like to know"?

  23. #135
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    What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?



























    Elephino!

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