New Greta On The Shelf Doll Will Track Your Climate Sins

Greta is programmed to detect activities including these:

Leaving the light on when you exit a room
Leaving the fridge open
Driving an SUV
Parents participating in illicit activities that may lead to the creation of more humans
Using a plastic straw instead of sticking your face in a beverage and slurping
Forgetting your reusable grocery bags at home
Getting a cut-down Christmas tree
Getting a carbon-heavy plastic Christmas tree
Turning on any electric appliances
Using the heater instead of rubbing two sticks together for warmth