Tricks that old racers get up to after retirement

My friend Chas had just bought this gaillow fly (yellow) Ferrari Dino and enthused for a week about the damn thing and got my "I want one of those things" taste buds tingling.
Was just passing through Shamley green on my way to Guildford-----now there is one of these car showrooms that cater for " entrepreneurial " and discerning enthusiasts------in other words-----rich bitches and spoiled bastards. Right in the centre of the showroom window was a yellow Dino Ferrari.
Now anyone who has ever met me( cruise liners at the captains table being the exception) will confirm I am not the best dressed dude in the street, nor do I purport to be-----and this time was no exception! waltzed right in there and kicked the tyres -----ran my fingers over the gleaming yellow coach work and had an immediate orgasm------whereupon this slick haired "tricky dicky" of a super salesperson came out of the traps like a derby winner, waving his arms about like a poor demented purveyor of fine motor carriages, pulls his handkerchief and wipes my offending finger marks from the aforementioned vehicle and yells at me (no touchy Feely Feller)!!! it does not take a great deal to piss me off normally and this wasn't exactly normal---- I can tell you----the occasions when you rush out and buy a Ferrari Dino are exceedingly few and far between. Well, to my credit, I never touched the little s--t-----I just told him to get the manager before he found my left trainer buried five lace holes deep. Surprisingly he did just that------turned out he was a chap who had bought a complete rig only two weeks before and I had towed it down to Nice where his 110' motor yacht was berthed. Easy peasy from there on in------- the final deal was a 12' Avon+ 3hp Mercury and £3,000in oncers and I topped up with a 2,000 mile Yellow Ferrari Dino. More at bedtime.

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Originally Posted by jackiewilson

Gonna have to dig deep into your mind-----and mine,----even I am not bloody clairvoyant, now do you want to know about the "LOTUS ÉLAN " that was K.D/s own car-----or the BDG engined Cortina Estate that Bill Brown found the engine for-----that we put a corsair gearbox and diff. In,
That thing was so far ahead of its time, went like S--t of a Teflon coated shovel, would run 120+ mph. Used to get all the wannabe boy racers on the south water by-pass and take money off them all. Like "The Beach Boys" used to sing------------WE ALWAYS TAKE MY CAR 'COS ITS NEVER BEEN BEAT.
My wife (driving the Cosworth), once conned a GTO Ferrari into chasing her onto a roundabout , she made it round------the Ferrari didn't -----it all ended in arms and legs and blood, snot and tears and a rather large insurance claim.
Or did you mean the first 2liter BDG Cosworth Miles boat, Bill Brown and I put together---there was some good history there -----with some bile and bitterness chucked in before we finally parted company ( that was after the Carlsberg sponsorship that Bill wanted 100% of)
Long before that happening I had done a deal with Garbrecht and bought a big old fully rigged Keith Black engined Jones KT----and shipped it over for "The Duchess of York" trophy at Chasewater
Ran four more 2 liter Cosworth---Hodges and a Scimitar.
Or did you mean the 3 liter DFV V8 32 valve 20' Hodges?.. That's it for today MGGWY.J.

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A short while ago I drove a friends VW Golf 2.0 petrol 4wd with 500hp @ 7500rpm I can tell you Jackie you wouldn't want to be a passenger in it he tells me it does 0-100 mph in 10 seconds and it feels like it`the only thought I had was it would make a fast boat engine if you could tame it` all from a stock VW engine block?.

Ahh Ferrari! was there ever a name more synonymous with heartbreak & tragedy....my pal from little school's dad had just got a red 250 GTO direct from the Colonel, what a thing..it looked and sounded like a spaceship to us yokels brought up on Ford Pops and rusty Vauxhalls,I decided to aim high
and that one day I would have a Ferrari.. any Ferrari.

All these fanciful ambitions took a back seat over the ensuing years (as they do) until Chas came down to Dons for an "old pilotes" weekend in the
246.Being the big hearted guy he was he took Charlie Sheppard then Yours Truly out for a hoon.......Charlie wisely decided to stick to his Merc, whilst
I decided to carry on saving........

Well you did say you wanted folks to talk to yo

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Originally Posted by ron54

Ahh Ferrari! was there ever a name more synonymous with heartbreak & tragedy....my pal from little school's dad had just got a red 250 GTO direct from the Colonel, what a thing..it looked and sounded like a spaceship to us yokels brought up on Ford Pops and rusty Vauxhalls,I decided to aim high
and that one day I would have a Ferrari.. any Ferrari.

All these fanciful ambitions took a back seat over the ensuing years (as they do) until Chas came down to Dons for an "old pilotes" weekend in the
246.Being the big hearted guy he was he took Charlie Sheppard then Yours Truly out for a hoon.......Charlie wisely decided to stick to his Merc, whilst
I decided to carry on saving........

Well you did say you wanted folks to talk to yo

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More than anything, I want as many people as possible to talk on this site, it's about all of us, hopes, heartbreaks, what we nearly did, and a lot of what we actually did, so please, everyone join in anytime.
Oh dear, oh dear, what have you done? If I get onto the capers that Chas and I got up to on long summer evenings ----for no particular reason -----and because we could,------ bear in mind he lived 220 miles up the road with a little old place called London in between, you may understand the stupid enormity of our pleasures. Now these tales of derring do and adventures galore may take a while to unfold as it's half a lifetime ago and Chas copped his clogs two years ago and entrusted me to tell a decent narration of some of the events that shaped both our lives.
Don Ross was my long time friend and co driver for years , when he retired he bought a hotel in Torquay with a bar----mainly used by Don and his boat racer pals.
So , let The tales begin, where the hell do I start ?

Jay Dubbya...Remember the old maxim....NEVER LET THE TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY!!!!
We,re all sitting comfortably now you can begin.........

It's damn near midnight----then I turn into a frickin pumpkin say goodnight to the people Phil.
lets see what transpires tomorrow .j.

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Originally Posted by STEVERINO

A short while ago I drove a friends VW Golf 2.0 petrol 4wd with 500hp @ 7500rpm I can tell you Jackie you wouldn't want to be a passenger in it he tells me it does 0-100 mph in 10 seconds and it feels like it`the only thought I had was it would make a fast boat engine if you could tame it` all from a stock VW engine block?.

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My grandson Simon has one of those vicious little bastards-------V24 I think it's called, with a supercharger he claims around 400 hp, which is about what we had in "The Cosworth "-----have trundled the roads with him on a couple of occasions and I have to admit to being a tad impressed!!

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Originally Posted by ron54

Jay Dubbya...Remember the old maxim....NEVER LET THE TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY!!!!
We,re all sitting comfortably now you can begin.........

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Phil, are you suggesting there may be a suggestion of a little "guiding the lily" here and there?
See how the day transpires!!!

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Originally Posted by jackiewilson

Phil, are you suggesting there may be a suggestion of a little "guiding the lily" here and there?
See how the day transpires!!!

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J.....No Sir. The ability to put a smile on one anothers fizzogs is what differs us from monkeys- well that and not having a tail of course and a few other things that I can't readily bring to mind.Carry on with what you do, bit of gelt so what?? nobody round here's gonna gripe,

All this reminds me when I went to buy a new vette. Went in to take a look and this sales wank comes out while I'm looking and asks me to take it for a ride. Short ride later he says take for the weekend, Ok, I've got the car for couple days and come back Monday morning and same sales guy meets as I drive and asks if I'm ready to buy and I tell him yeah. He says he's got the paperwork ready and to come on in. I tell him that I want a blue vette, not black and besides someone's run this piss out of the black one.

You see, everyone's got a story to tell, just a case of getting folk to talk.
This is what I mean about PARTICIPATION, you just need to stand up and tell something, Anybody.
Been up to my fetlocks this last couple of days----bought a bunch of stuff including a couple of sanding machines at the car boot sale, (got backache carrying them back to the car) then spent a day cleaning and sorting. Put a rake of gear onto Ebay and looks like I got a wedge towards the ticket to Orlando for the old farts do.
Sunday today so I'm going to give the workshop a miss and catch up on the "Tricks" column, have fallen way behind with the correspondence, tell you all about it later today, just been called for mushrooms on toast!!!

Attachment 299022
Ok,i know I shouldn't be subjecting you all to family foggies but this was my two year old great grand daughter Polly doing her Tina Turner routine around midnight last night -------she brought the house down . It's her dad's band----far right behind the speaker-----he also teaches guitar in a high school. That's all.

Stevie Pinson was telling us about the Vee-Dub with 500. Hp, talked to my grandson Simon last night about what you said-----come with me he says, I want to show you something REALLY special. Was a bit intrigued so I went with him and he showed me his friends -----

Just lost most of what I was telling you about----about 600 words, tried the Auto restore but it's shut down for the weekend-----so buggered if I know where it all turned to worms ----but it did.Will try again later.

So, Simon shows me his friends Audi 2liter-----680bhp---but looking for 750bhp. 0---60=3.2 secs.
Project up to now cost $160,000-------$60,000 on wheels and tyres alone.
Guy limits himself to two burn outs a day as the g forces addle the brain after a while( I already thought that one Willa). And I thought "The Cossie had a heap of power.
Makes you wonder just how far they can go and keep the lump in one piece-----the Cosworth was in Le--Mans spec and would run for 24 hours (and then do it all again)
doing this in small doses in case the bugger gets lost again------sod re writing for a game of soldiers.

Back to the 1970Ford Cortina 1600 Estate.
Was just an ordinary Ford that I bought new for £999.00. I said I would never ever pay more than a£1,000 for a new car-----not never no how.
First thing we did was put a pair of Dell Orto four barrel carbs on it------didn't do much except make the damn car exceedingly thirsty.
By now I had gotten matey with Bill Brown and he was yakkety yakking about a 2 liter BDA that chucked out around 250 bhp----certainly a step up from the 110 bhp on the Ford----Roger Clarke was setting the rallying world on fire with his BDA engined Lotus Cortina and Colin Chapman was producing a little bomb of a car with the pocket rocket Élan.
will post this now as iPad battery running low.

To continue-----there was only minor mods to shoehorn the BDA in place-----it fired up the first time of asking and the wonderful sound of the hammer of a pair of twin choke Webbers sucking is something I remember to this day. Headed to the by-pass for it's first run, could not believe how quick I got valve bounce, was a bog standard low geared ford station wagon, no rev counter, only an optimistic 100mph speedometer, that had once reached the "magic" 90. Opened the thing up very gently (I thought) but still managed to get the valve train dancing, speedo went a full inch past the 100 mark when the bounce came back in top gear. Sh-t and corruption----what the hell have I got under the bonnet methinks.
In those days I had a garage selling cars, boats and engines, animals and small children if you REALLY wanted them-----I just happened to have a Ford Corsair on the forecourt, well, this had a long diff and gearbox, which we changed overnight. Difference was astounding, it was like driving a full blown race car-----but to the shops..??? Word spread of the cars prowess, and boy racers and hooligans all wanted a crack at the little ford. Cars of the day were Stags, Jags, Odd Mustangs, Gordon Keeble, Facel Vega etc, etc, etc, (aka Yul) none of them could hold a candle to the Ford.
After Berlin in 1970, flew home Monday and drove down to Como to pick up the three pointer Renato had lent me to do a record attempt at Windermere. Strapped the boat onto the roof and left Como Tuesday night----all was ok until I hit 95 mph when the car became airborne which was disastrous as had planned on averaging 100 mph on the 1000 mile trip back. Made home Wednesday and set off to Poole where Roy Ridgell was waiting to install one of Mercurys R+D special toys for special boys. Thursday the storms hit Britain and Friday was deemed a no go, so it was all a bit of an anti climax. But the BDG performed with honour. J. MYGGWY.

Well, that went down like a turd in a punch bowl !!!

i'm still thinking about 95mph in a 1970 Cortina, far safer in a boat.
There was a GT version of that wasnt there Jackie, what was different about that?

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Originally Posted by powerabout

i'm still thinking about 95mph in a 1970 Cortina, far safer in a boat.
There was a GT version of that wasnt there Jackie, what was different about that?

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And it was a station wagon-----would run 110 all day long and return 26 mpg.
GT version was 5 bhp more -----+£100 and you got a go faster stripe and a GT badge either side.

I think that mountain of verbs left us all stunned!! we were all with you Jack-- smokin' down the the ring road divin inside Facels tuckin up G.K's on the undercut too I'll bet....GAWD-L-PUS..It was like reading a race report in Autosport.....
Now...... when that 'tina finally dissolved into red oxide I am sure that a shrewd operator such as yourself would have spooned out that motor and box(2000E was it?) and rolled it safely under your workbench to use for that special project "When I get round to it"...no need to be bashfull we've all had those moments....Weeeel of course time moved on---other more important things occurred thay alllwaaays do don't they??.Soooo here we are its 2014 and there it sits yet... under the bench neglected and forgotten covered in dust and dried out old discarded teabags remembered only when you chance to bang your shin agaaain on those "damn webers" BUT.........................................!!!!Help is at hand,
It so happens that the Bristol Massive will be visiting your Parish in a short while to spend some quality time at the Goodwood F.O.S. thing, and I have to tell you now..it will be noooo trouble at aaall to swing round to your "tent" and ask for your help in loading that old obsolete lump into the back of the T5R.........Jack I know what you're thinkin,WILL IT BE DISPOSED OF IN AN ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY MANNER???? Put your mind at rest my friend, it will. and I will promise it will not be sailing off in any Chinese bound ship either.And I will tell you what ....if it's not too choked up with wood shavings and saw dust I'll even give you some coin to spend at the Car Boot....How's that?? ain't that real big hearted of me? Like Don used to say WHADDEYA SEE? WHADDEYA HEAR?....

Yeah Phil, I took the Cosworth out of the cortina and replaced it with the original lump which had 1500 miles on it, before I sold it-----for £750, then sold the BDG back to Bill Brown for £3,000. BDG s were rare as rocking horse sh-t and were fetching large wads of gelt.
Will also be at the Goodwood Festival----probably the Friday , it's not as manic as the weekend, and I do like to watch Bonhams Auction of classic cars. Let me know what day you are going and I will treat you to a pint of Harvey's best.

Not feeling too chipper tonight-----must be something I ate, so excuse me if I sign off, MYGGWY.

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Originally Posted by jackiewilson

Attachment 299022
Ok,i know I shouldn't be subjecting you all to family foggies but this was my two year old great grand daughter Polly doing her Tina Turner routine around midnight last night -------she brought the house down . It's her dad's band----far right behind the speaker-----he also teaches guitar in a high school. That's all.

Stevie Pinson was telling us about the Vee-Dub with 500. Hp, talked to my grandson Simon last night about what you said-----come with me he says, I want to show you something REALLY special. Was a bit intrigued so I went with him and he showed me his friends -----

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. I was thinking Jackie how fast would that hodges have been in 1976 with that Golf 2 litre engine fitted compared with the Merc 2.0 inj outboards of that time.In today's racing I still think 450 hp to 500hp in a small Cat would be pretty fast.It would cost £10,000 today to change a standard Golf R engine running a standard block from 270hp to 500hp at the wheels 560hp at the flywheel with 400lb ft torque I would think it would have had terrific acceleration would your gear case have handled that power' I think your 2 litre hodges would have been around 17ft in 76 and would have had a good power to weight ratio I wonder how it would have performed with today's outfits? Something else to discuss later my son is working on a Porsche Turbo engine 3.6 litres and it will be ready for Dino test in a few weeks expecting 1000hp I will keep you informed?

how low an rpm does it make 400ftlbs

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Originally Posted by powerabout

how low an rpm does it make 400ftlbs

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KNOCK IT OFF P/B. NOW YOUR JUST SHOWING OFF!!!!!!!Rotory John used to do the " blind you with science" bit in the early days.
Duckworth once said----you can get a million horsepower from a given motor for a nano second!!
SO WHAT?
The clever bit is getting the power output to suit the application, all revs and no grunt is no good to man nor beast. If the prop spins at a rapid rate of knots and the craft does not move forward, all your hundreds of horsepower is totally irrelevant .
what a total load of bollocks we are discussing at the moment----let's move out of La-La Land and move on a bit.

The 2 liter Cosworth would run with the very best of the outboards (in its time). '74----102/3 mph
The 3 liter Cosworth would run with the best of the OZ/s--------

We opened a 5 liter ............

'84 Chateau Mouton Rothschild for Doreen's 55th birthday in February.... I bought it for her many years ago.

Hi Jackie
I have heard back on the current F1 scene where there are two 4 strokes being tested, they perform as expected, either dont get on the plane or they get lapped on the first lap when doing a dock start but they are a bizillion HP at a bazillion revs
maybe they will get some allowance..

2 x capacity...

nitrous....

blower...

turbo...

vvt...

7 speed gearbox...

centrifugal clutch...

then maybe just maybe

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Originally Posted by T2x

We opened a 5 liter ............

'84 Chateau Mouton Rothschild for Doreen's 55th birthday in February.... I bought it for her many years ago.

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Good God Rich, thats a bucketful !!!! Is that a jeraboam or a Methusalah or what? You could have waited a little longer!!!!

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Originally Posted by powerabout

Hi Jackie
I have heard back on the current F1 scene where there are two 4 strokes being tested, they perform as expected, either dont get on the plane or they get lapped on the first lap when doing a dock start but they are a bizillion HP at a bazillion revs
maybe they will get some allowance..

2 x capacity...

nitrous....

blower...

turbo...

vvt...

7 speed gearbox...

centrifugal clutch...

then maybe just maybe

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Then if you do get it to perform, They'll ban it anyway.

I am getting to be a very sarky old fart in my dotage. Years ago I would have been gung-ho on any news about F1 but I got very disillusioned over the years. It started the day drivers stopped helping each other and thinking they were Gods gift, and poncing about like prima donnas. I like to remember when we all went racing and it was important we all made the start line. Halcyon days ( did you know that's the old name for a Kingfisher ). Coming 83 and a mine of useless information.
Tried to put something back into the sport when I started FONDA but it was really too late, the mould had already been broken and the new order was taking over.
Duckworth had aspirations of making powerboating something that car racing was not, too much politics, too many feckin chiefs, he thought we might start with a clean slate, great idea, but the rot had already set in.
There you go people, that's something to get your teeth into, got me a duesey of a headache so that's all for tonight, MYGGWY. J.

No it's not, I have a question for for the staff at S&F ?
Just how in the hell can i be " freakin screaming" in POST 469 .
Then senior " member " in POST 470.
Is it you or me----maybe something I ate!!! Or is WILLABEE pulling my chain???

Jackie, I'm no expert or S&F staff member, but I suspect the "Freakin Screaming" in post 469 became just another SENIOR moment by post 470. Just go with it.

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Originally Posted by jackiewilson

No it's not, I have a question for for the staff at S&F ?
Just how in the hell can i be " freakin screaming" in POST 469 .
Then senior " member " in POST 470.
Is it you or me----maybe something I ate!!! Or is WILLABEE pulling my chain???

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Originally Posted by RogerH

Jackie, I'm no expert or S&F staff member, but I suspect the "Freakin Screaming" in post 469 became just another SENIOR moment by post 470. Just go with it.

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I do try to be tranquil and laid back, but there has only ever been one me-----I am the same person that resided in France. I now dwell in England. What part of that is an enigma to S&F ? I have lived here in England for the last 3years-----surely it is not beyond the wit of man to add 2+ 2?

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Originally Posted by T2x

We opened a 5 liter ............

'84 Chateau Mouton Rothschild for Doreen's 55th birthday in February.... I bought it for her many years ago.

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That reminds me, back in 1972, Renato gave me a wooden model of his Paris winning pickle fork and a big (not 5 liter) bottle of some kind of red wine for Christmas. We have been saving it for a special occasion (like winning the lotto or having our kids say they just bought us a retirement home on Grand Cayman) ever since. It's 42 years old, wonder if it's any good now?

When Merc wanted to come up with a paint scheme for the four Team boats in 73, I let the art department borrow the model and that's how they finalized the new theme.

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Originally Posted by jackie wilson

Good God Rich, thats a bucketful !!!! Is that a jeraboam or a Methusalah or what? You could have waited a little longer!!!!

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Bigger than a jeraboam (3 liters) but 1 liter smaller than a Methusaleh...... Could have...but we didn't....:)

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Originally Posted by willabee

That reminds me, back in 1972, Renato gave me a wooden model of his Paris winning pickle fork and a big (not 5 liter) bottle of some kind of red wine for Christmas. We have been saving it for a special occasion (like winning the lotto or having our kids say they just bought us a retirement home on Grand Cayman) ever since. It's 42 years old, wonder if it's any good now?

When Merc wanted to come up with a paint scheme for the four Team boats in 73, I let the art department borrow the model and that's how they finalized the new theme.

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William my friend, don't even THINK about opening that bottle,
Very few people can turn round and claim Renato gave them anything.
Look at it and remember the days !!!
Thars gold in that there bottle!!! ( with the provenance)
Nice to have you back Willa .

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Originally Posted by T2x

We opened a 5 liter ............

'84 Chateau Mouton Rothschild for Doreen's 55th birthday in February.... I bought it for her many years ago.

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Rich, After looking up google it would appear you have a bottle that don't exist There's a jeroboam @ four and a half litres ( 7 bottles)then next an Imperial a@. six and a half litres (10 bottles)
I didn't know either !!!

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Originally Posted by jackiewilson

William my friend, don't even THINK about opening that bottle,
Very few people can turn round and claim Renato gave them anything.
Look at it and remember the days !!!
Thars gold in that there bottle!!! ( with the provenance)
Nice to have you back Willa .

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It has very fancy labeling and a medal of some sort attached to one end of a ribbon with the other end of the ribbon buried in the melted wax top. I take it you think the wine is probably bad?

It's kind of funny you say "remember the days", every time I see that bottle memories of Renato and what took place at that event come roaring back. :thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by jackiewilson

Rich, After looking up google it would appear you have a bottle that don't exist There's a jeroboam @ four and a half litres ( 7 bottles)then next an Imperial a@. six and a half litres (10 bottles)
I didn't know either !!!

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Sorry Jackie....but it did, indeed, exist.....I can bring the empty to OFF if you like.

See below for like size bottle different year.....


https://winelibrary.com/wines/11105-...ton-rothschild

And here is ours before the party

Attachment 299222

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Originally Posted by willabee

It has very fancy labeling and a medal of some sort attached to one end of a ribbon with the other end of the ribbon buried in the melted wax top. I take it you think the wine is probably bad?

It's kind of funny you say "remember the days", every time I see that bottle memories of Renato and what took place at that event come roaring back. :thumbsup:

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Willa.....If the wine has been kept at a reasonably constant temperature, stored on its side (not upright)...it is probably good. (Doreen was in the wine business for years). However if the cork leaked or dried out...all bets are off. The wax is a good thing. I suggest that you drink it, since, it will not last forever and, as we decided, is better off enjoyed by friends than sitting in the dust rotting away....

P.S. The larger bottles age a bit slower, but not in proportion to the size...so they are only a year or two behind the 750 ml's in timing....at least ours was.