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Q: What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A: One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Q: Why do you never see pigs hiding in trees?
A: Because they’re pretty good at it.
Q: Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek–a-boo accident?
A: To the I.C.U.
Q: What kind of dogs love car racing?
A: Lap dogs.
So I went to Home Depot.
I told the cute female employee I was looking for caulk. She said, “So am I.”
Anyway, she gets off work at 7. :D
Our President.
Definitely ain't the funniest joke of all time but maybe the biggest & possibly the dumbest. RRQuote:
Originally Posted by bullet20vee
got out to the sandbar this weekend to meet up with old friends on the river and have some beers, we got to talking about new medicines and medical cures that are out now, my buddy was telling me about tridicsagan and i had never heard of it and asked him what it was for....he said it was a cure for lesbians and works every time...i still didnt get it so he said it a little slower.
Attachment 491058 keep america great again
I've been taking Viagra to combat the Corona... Working so far, it is hard though! :D :D
Went to the dr yesterday, young nurse was going down a list if questions. Asked if I was sexually active. I replied if she was into old guys, I certainly would be up for it! She blushed, and laughed. True story...
Here's a more recent joke.......
It's pretty ridiculous.....
The punchline lives inside.......
Two fish in a tank. One fish says to the other, "You know how to drive this thing?"
Rock
F-bomb warning... Ozzy Man that goes without saying, really.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKSXxb0mebY
The last time Don Lemon told the truth, Brian Stelter was able to see his penis without the aid of a mirror.
My wife's always complaining I never take pictures of her. So today I put that debate to rest. She's the one holding the basket. :p
https://www.screamandfly.com/attachm...6&d=1639441045
Attachment 497976
Husband and Wife are Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping mall just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his cell.
The wife said, "Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said, "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that.”
:D
How much snow does it take to declare a snow day in Texas......
a pint