how to speak politically correct about women

[Talon2.5]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.


2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.


3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.


4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED. HEHEHEHE

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY

INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is SURGICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10.She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11.She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12.She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER

[action17]

good one skip!!:D

[175checkmate]

OUTSTANDING. Great stuff.

[Fish]

:D :D :D :D

[dal290la]

FINE
This is the word women use to end an
argument when they feel they are
right and you need to shut up.
Never use "fine" to describe how a
woman looks - this will cause you to
have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent
to the "five minutes" that your
football or hockey game is going to
last before you take out the trash,
so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should
be on your toes. "Nothing" is
usually used to describe the feeling a
woman has of wanting to turn you
inside out, upside down and backwards.
Nothing" usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes"
and end with "Fine."

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in
a woman getting upset over
Nothing" and will end with the word
"Fine."

GO AHEAD ( Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "Do what you
want because I don't care." You
will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in
just a few minutes, followed by
Nothing"
and "Fine," and she will talk to you in
about "Five Minutes" when she
cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a
non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh"
means she thinks you are an idiot
at that moment, and wonders why she is
wasting her time standing here
and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGHS
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal
statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that
she is content. Your best bet is to not
move or breathe, and she will
stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous
statements that a woman can make to a
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants
to think long and hard before
paying you back for whatever it is that
you have done. "That's Okay" is
often used with the word "Fine" and in
conjunction with a "Raised
Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you
are going to be in some mighty big
trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an
offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to come up with whatever excuse
or reason you have for doing
whatever it is that you have done. You
have a fair chance with the
truth, so be careful and you shouldn't
get a "That's Okay."

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint.
Just say, "You're welcome."

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A
woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
when she is really ticked off at you.
It signifies that you have
offended her in some callous way, and
will be followed by the "Loud
Sigh."
Be careful not to ask what is wrong
after the "Loud Sigh," as she will
only tell you "Nothing."

Send this to the men you know to warn
them about future arguments they
can avoid if they remember the
terminology....

[Laker]

Oh man.....:rolleyes: :D :D

[Tom D.]

You have made several good points Skip. A flat chested women- The Breastly Challenged.
A big butt- Glutious Maxed Out.


Tom

[Talon2.5]

hehehehe yep my boat is better cause it dont bitch, complain, sigh, say "fine" or get upset cause i'm hangin with other boats :D

[Talon2.5]

oh you remindedme of this one checkmate..........

the angle of the dangle is directly proportionate to the mass of the a$$ :D

[Tom D.]

HAHAHA!:D

Tom