Best Pick Up Lines: Post Yours Here!

[Forkin' Crazy]

I'll go first! :)


"Baby wanna big stick?"

[yoyokidss]

after talking with a chick for a few min's. ask her..

So we gona screw tonight or what cuz your killing my chances of getting laid !!!


could get a slap or get lucky.. some woman like that.

[baja200merk]

when they ask if I'm with anyone,

i say yea, the beatin guts hunting club huntin white tail year round :D

[Dutch]

i walk over and ask women if they are looking for a husband.
if they say yes, i show them my ring and say lets go, i am one:eek:

[sunapeeboater]

Lets get something straight between us:eek:

[4JawChuck]

Walk up to table full of women and ask them if they "want to see the coolest oral sex technique ever!"

When one of them say yes (one will...they always do), ask her to make a fist.

With your index and middle finger insert them into the hole in her fist from the thumb side, you can make all kinds of jokes about how tight her fist is etc while you do this.

Once the fingers are in, using your thumb...stroke the index finger knuckle of her fist from side to side and then lean down and give it a lick and then a kiss...what you do with your fingers in her fist is up to you.

Stand up and say "cool huh!" and walk away.

One of them will find you sometime that evening, the only pickup tool I have ever seen work everytime.;)

P.S. If it works for you, I want credit...its patent pending.

[stroker smoker]

Walk up to table full of women and ask them if they "want to see the coolest oral sex technique ever!"

When one of them say yes (one will...they always do), ask her to make a fist.

With your index and middle finger insert them into the hole in her fist from the thumb side, you can make all kinds of jokes about how tight her fist is etc while you do this.

Once the fingers are in, using your thumb...stroke the index finger knuckle of her fist from side to side and then lean down and give it a lick and then a kiss...what you do with your fingers in her fist is up to you.

Stand up and say "cool huh!" and walk away.

One of them will find you sometime that evening, the only pickup tool I have ever seen work everytime.;)

P.S. If it works for you, I want credit...its patent pending.
wow do you do this often:eek:next time im in mcdonalds ill see if on of my buddys will give it a shot:rolleyes:

[4JawChuck]

You pick up girls in McDonalds? With teeth?:thumbsup:

[stroker smoker]

185376
You pick up girls in McDonalds? With teeth?:thumbsup:
yep:D

[horsepower]

Don't get me started on this thread. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: I hear the MOST stupidest atleast every night I work. :rolleyes:

[INXS]

EZ one I used back in the 70s 80s and 90s was "Want To Get High".:D:reddevil:

[sunapeeboater]

Don't get me started on this thread. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: I hear the MOST stupidest atleast every night I work. :rolleyes:

Enlighten us

[BRB]

is that a mirror in ur pocket---cause i can see myself in ur pants.....

can i have some *****---i know ya got some on ya...


give that ***** up cause i know u cant use it all


did it hurt when u fell from heaven

are u tired cause u been runnin through my mind all night...

[Forkin' Crazy]

Don't get me started on this thread. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: I hear the MOST stupidest atleast every night I work. :rolleyes:



Damn bitch, you stupid fly! Lemme pull up to that bumper and smack dat monkey!


It worked the time I used it. :eek:

[Instigator]

Ask her:

"Wanna get married for the weekend?"

"You could be my next X wife"

"Do you fool around?", She says no, you ask, "wanna start?"

"I've got a 9" tongue and can breath through my ears"

"As long as I've got a face you've got a place to sit down"


She asks:
"Are you married?", you reply, "no but my wife is"

If on your boat w/a cabin:
"Wanna play pirate and the slave girl?"

As above, on one of the islands after the ferries stop running and all the drunk girls that missed the last one are now looking for a place to stay.
You ask, "looking for a place to stay?No strings attached."

At a tiki bar one time w/my 3 month old lab (:rolleyes::p;):D:iagree:) when a bikini wearing hotty asked if she could pet my puppy I replied, "sure, let me move my dog."

Or how bout the "Butt Gauge" joke? Has to do to with the acceptable size of a girls butt changing based on the amount of alcohol you drink.
After hearing that joke on one of the above mentioned islands on my cabin cruiser I pulled out a magic marker and using a 70 Qt Igloo cooler to measure girls butts (had the tape measure embedded in the lid for measuring fish) I started inviting girls on my boat and had them sit on that cooler to be measured. Would then put their names beside their sizes/marks. Unbelievably, that cooler/boat was famous for a couple of seasons there :p

Not that I would ever condone that type of behavior or admit in public to ever doing such things.

Happily married now and this message will self destruct in 30 seconds :cool:

[Riverratt]

Your body reminds me of a wrench because everytime I think of you my nuts tighten

[Hydrophobic guy]

I may not be able to hit the bottom but, I'll beat the hell outa the sides. :D

[head_dunce]

Are you free tonight? ---- or is it going to cost me?

[slowaction420]

come on ladies lets go talk about pistons and crankshafts ill show you my fat rod

[chrispallen]

all those curves, and me with no brakes....

or my favorite,

do you believe in love at first sight, or shall i walk by a second time?

[afr]

here hold this see if you think it will fit ya

[horsepower]

Your shirt says made in the USA but dayum, you must be made in heaven. Just one I heard last night.

[chrispallen]

**** me if i am wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

probably works better up in NH than some parts of the country though.....

[too late]

Do you want to go for a ride in my skater, did you know I have a skater, I have a big skater.

[Kathleen Michelle]

;)... too late response to a p/u line



i ate to much candy tonight.

[Hydrophobic guy]

Your shirt says made in the USA but dayum, you must be made in heaven. Just one I heard last night.

OMG, you need to move out of Demopolis !! ;)


**** me if i am wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

probably works better up in NH than some parts of the country though.....

Good lord I've been to Wakefield is the water poisoned there now? :confused:

[Forkin' Crazy]

Your shirt says made in the USA but dayum, you must be made in heaven. Just one I heard last night.

Is that better or worse than:

I want to turn you on your head and eat you like an ice cream cone!!!

:eek: http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/laughing.gif http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/laughing.gif http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/laughing.gif http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/laughing.gif http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/laughing.gif http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/tongue141.gif

[h2oskiier30]

Nice shoes....wanna f***???

[jay1]

"LAST CALL" :thumbsup:

[Ted Stryker]

I'M RICH........

It's just like shopping.

[1meanstream]

Nice legs --when do they open?

[hydromaniacc]

"Do you have any scandanavian in you?"

"no"

"Would you like some?"


This one works every time...
"The only way I would kick you out of my bed,is f##k you on the floor"

[horsepower]

Is that better or worse than:

I want to turn you on your head and eat you like an ice cream cone!!!

:eek: http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/laughing.gif http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/laughing.gif http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/laughing.gif http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/laughing.gif http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/laughing.gif http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/forkincrazy/smilies/tongue141.gif

Sounds like something you'd say. :rolleyes:

[horsepower]

Nice shoes....wanna f***???


Is that how you came up with that kiddo in your pic? :p

[h2oskiier30]

Is that how you came up with that kiddo in your pic? :p

Nah...he came 5 years later. :p:D:thumbsup:

Just noticed...I went one up on you on post count with this post, too. :p

[horsepower]

Nah...he came 5 years later. :p:D:thumbsup:

Just noticed...I went one up on you on post count with this post, too. :p

was thinkin'

[horsepower]

was thinkin'

the very

[horsepower]

the very


same thing...:D

[h2oskiier30]

Nice...

[h2oskiier30]

try...

[h2oskiier30]

chickie.:p

[Forkin' Crazy]

Sounds like something you'd say. :rolleyes:

Tonight I'm eatin' at the Y! :p :p :p :p :D

[bigtis]

we get a kick outta a freind asking a chick to let me see where ya pee from!!!! Either he's gets' some play cause you obviously make a fool of yourself when you say that, or they just look at ya stupid, then we all get a good laugh at ya:iagree::cheers:

[WARLOCK]

Are those "space-pants"...cause your ass is out of this world!

Are you into real estate? (point to your crotch), Is this a lot?
Later, Dave

[Budlight]

"your panties would look better hangin' from my ceiling fan"

[horsepower]

"your panties would look better hangin' from my ceiling fan"

But what if they wear a size 12? :D That could be ugly It would be like having a curtain hanging in the middle of your room. :eek:

[Swamp boy]

But what if they wear a size 12? :D That could be ugly It would be like having a curtain hanging in the middle of your room. :eek:

Hey now biguns need lovin to.;)

[Budlight]

Hey now biguns need lovin to.;)

that's why they invented Tequila

[Budlight]

But what if they wear a size 12? :D That could be ugly It would be like having a curtain hanging in the middle of your room. :eek:

panties that big would block all the light,,,so you wouldn't really know how big she is

[Hydrophobic guy]

But what if they wear a size 12? :D That could be ugly It would be like having a curtain hanging in the middle of your room. :eek:

My mind is currently way in the gutter so, I once again will abstain from. commenting. ;)

[Swamp boy]

that's why they invented Tequila


:iagree: I'm stayin away from the liquor from now on. My bar tab has a note on it " no liqour for David. he takes one to many and has to much fun afterwards. thats until he wakes up the next morinin wonderin wtf happened" :D

[sunapeeboater]

But what if they wear a size 12? :D That could be ugly It would be like having a curtain hanging in the middle of your room. :eek:
Wouldn't that be classified as bloomers:eek::eek:

[horsepower]

Wouldn't that be classified as bloomers:eek::eek:

Wrong again. parachutes :D

[horsepower]

My mind is currently way in the gutter so, I once again will abstain from. commenting. ;)

Lets hear it... :p

[AwesomeBullet]

Hey now biguns need lovin to.;)

They just have to pay....:eek::D

[DerStream]

Wrong again. parachutes :D

Tarps :D

[DerStream]

something like the ones they cover baseball fields with when it rains. :thumbsup:

[sunapeeboater]

Wrong again. parachutes :D
Somehow I dont think a size 12 anything could safely float my fat ass back to earth:eek::eek:

[ssent]

But what if they wear a size 12? :D That could be ugly It would be like having a curtain hanging in the middle of your room. :eek:

http://www.canvasmag.co.uk/style/fashion/images/jl_swim07_1.jpg

South African model Lauren Moller is a size 12 which would get her banned from most catwalks, but you can decide for yourself how fat she really is. :thumbsup:

[Budlight]

But what if they wear a size 12? :D That could be ugly It would be like having a curtain hanging in the middle of your room. :eek:

how about i put a size limit on what panties can hang on my ceiling fan before i ask...

[Swamp boy]

http://www.canvasmag.co.uk/style/fashion/images/jl_swim07_1.jpg

South African model Lauren Moller is a size 12 which would get her banned from most catwalks, but you can decide for yourself how fat she really is. :thumbsup:

I'd hit it.:iagree:

[horsepower]

Hey now biguns need lovin to.;)

Speaking of biguns....I almost got in trouble with a bigun the other night...Forgot the biguns name so I started her a tab on the computer as "Bigun" and she saw that when she got behind me on the other side of the bar when she came to close out her tab. Luckily I got her drunk and we laughed it off. :D :D :p

[Swamp boy]

Speaking of biguns....I almost got in trouble with a bigun the other night...Forgot the biguns name so I started her a tab on the computer as "Bigun" and she saw that when she got behind me on the other side of the bar when she came to close out her tab. Luckily I got her drunk and we laughed it off. :D :D :p

YA GOTS TO BE MORE CAREFUL........lil girl.:p

[Budlight]

Speaking of biguns....I almost got in trouble with a bigun the other night...Forgot the biguns name so I started her a tab on the computer as "Bigun" and she saw that when she got behind me on the other side of the bar when she came to close out her tab. Luckily I got her drunk and we laughed it off. :D :D :p

she gonna whoop yo lil' a$$

[horsepower]

YA GOTS TO BE MORE CAREFUL........lil girl.:p

What did I tell you about lil Girl? :p :D :reddevil:


she gonna whoop yo lil' a$$


But but but, I got some good running shoes :D :D

[Hydrophobic guy]

Speaking of biguns....I almost got in trouble with a bigun the other night...Forgot the biguns name so I started her a tab on the computer as "Bigun" and she saw that when she got behind me on the other side of the bar when she came to close out her tab. Luckily I got her drunk and we laughed it off. :D :D :p

You still at that place with the touchy feely boss and the thievin co-worker? :confused:
Or'd you do what I suggested you do and now your on the lam and at another bar? :confused:

[horsepower]

You still at that place with the touchy feely boss and the thievin co-worker? :confused:
Or'd you do what I suggested you do and now your on the lam and at another bar? :confused:


Well, I couldnt delete that thread fast enough. Didnt read everything. Embarassing thread. Posted while anebriated :rolleyes: :p
To answer your question, nope havent went back. The only other place to really be employed is over an hr. away. But I guess I gotta do what I gotta do..Wondering if hooters makes good enough $? LOL

[Budlight]

open up a "Hooter's" in demop..

[Hydrophobic guy]

Well, I couldnt delete that thread fast enough. Didnt read everything. Embarassing thread. Posted while anebriated :rolleyes: :p
To answer your question, nope havent went back. The only other place to really be employed is over an hr. away. But I guess I gotta do what I gotta do..Wondering if hooters makes good enough $? LOL

Well, my advice was to kick him in the balls and burn her trailer down. ;)
Hey, with the way things are going for so many ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.
As for Hooters e-mail me pictures and I'll give you an honest assessment of your income potential. :D

[horsepower]

Well, my advice was to kick him in the balls and burn her trailer down. ;)
Hey, with the way things are going for so many ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.
As for Hooters e-mail me pictures and I'll give you an honest assessment of your income potential. :D


I did kick his ego in the balls and the next time I see her I'm gonna spit in her face. ;) Someone needs to be around to youtube it. :reddevil: :D

E-mail you pics? ....slick ;) :D
Pics on prof. :rolleyes: :p

[Hydrophobic guy]

I did kick his ego in the balls and the next time I see her I'm gonna spit in her face. ;) Someone needs to be around to youtube it. :reddevil: :D

E-mail you pics? ....slick ;) :D
Pics on prof. :rolleyes: :p

Good girl we'll make a man out of you yet .......... so to speak. ;) :D
As for the pics I'll be waiting when ever you get to um. :thumbsup:

[Dave Strong]

I'll go first! :)


"Baby wanna big stick?"


I have a 7" tounge and I can breath through my ears.:eek:
Dave:cheers:

[RNM018]

panties that big would block all the light,,,so you wouldn't really know how big she is

Come On Now . When you give her a Hug , and think your arms are around her Waist . Then Realize it's her Thigh ! That's a Bigun ,and there aint No Light Switch going to resolve that problem !

Rich Martin 018

[Swamp boy]

Come On Now . When you give her a Hug , and think your arms are around her Waist . Then Realize it's her Thigh ! That's a Bigun ,and there aint No Light Switch going to resolve that problem !

Rich Martin 018

You speak from personal experience Mr. Martin?????

[Forkin' Crazy]

But what if they wear a size 12? :D That could be ugly It would be like having a curtain hanging in the middle of your room. :eek:

You say "they", so I assume you are talking about two of them. Can't you add? 6+6=12. I could do that. :)

Back on topic:

Is your name Summer? It has to be, because you’re hot!

[Budlight]

Come On Now . When you give her a Hug , and think your arms are around her Waist . Then Realize it's her Thigh ! That's a Bigun ,and there aint No Light Switch going to resolve that problem !

Rich Martin 018

just keep the bottle of Tequila right on the night stand, and take another gulp...

[horsepower]

Come On Now . When you give her a Hug , and think your arms are around her Waist . Then Realize it's her Thigh ! That's a Bigun ,and there aint No Light Switch going to resolve that problem !

Rich Martin 018


I bet you were wondering WTH is this lump. :confused: :D

[Swamp boy]

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

Do you take it up the ass?

Excuse me. Do you want to **** or should I apologize?

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?

Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?

[Swamp boy]

(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!

Can I please be your slave tonight?

Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.

Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.

[Swamp boy]

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

Are you O.K.? Because heaven is a long fall from here.

Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

I have only three months to live. ..

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

[Swamp boy]

Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."

Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.

You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.

If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?.

I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?


If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree


If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm like a sex machine

Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for..

You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it..

[Swamp boy]

Think that should keep ya'll goin for a lil while....:cheers:

[Forkin' Crazy]

Hey baby, how 'bouts some of dem guts! :eek:

[JrCRXHF]

How about.

I got a american express with lots of room on it.

[Riverratt]

This is for Natalie
Hey baby lets go for a boat ride and I will let you choke my big johnson:D

[Forkin' Crazy]

This is for Natalie
Hey baby lets go for a boat ride and I will let you choke my big johnson:D

I think she likes big blacks.... :eek:



Another:

"You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you."

:D

[RNM018]

You speak from personal experience Mr. Martin?????

Well Actually , NO . I Don't Ride Mopeds !!!:eek:

Rich Martin 018 :D

[Budlight]

I think she likes big blacks.... :eek:



Another:

"You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you."

:D
Hope you talking about Mercs!!!!

[horsepower]

How about.

I got a american express with lots of room on it.



I might can swing that PU line...YOu are talkin' about the blue card right? I'm in need of some serious shopping. Please send pics of your fast boat and we might can talk. :p :D


Hope you talking about Mercs!!!!


Well blacks are stronger, run faster and perform better... yes I am talkin' about Mercs...:D you know that Clay!

[sunapeeboater]

I bet you were wondering WTH is this lump. :confused: :D If its that big that would be lumps

[horsepower]

If its that big that would be lumps

Hell who knows, it could be humps. :D

[sunapeeboater]

Hell who knows, it could be humps. :D


http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sick006.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

[RNM018]

Ok Now , I'm Confused Again !
How did We Get From , Pick Up Lines , To Humping Lumps ?

Rich Martin 018 :rolleyes:

[horsepower]

Ok Now , I'm Confused Again !
How did We Get From , Pick Up Lines , To Humping Lumps ?

Rich Martin 018 :rolleyes:


Thought that was what happened when you drank those mineral spirits..I meant Tequila. :p :D

[hydromaniacc]

185681You know what would look good on me?
Her

[mirage243]

Ok, been watchin' this thread and waiting to tell this one. I swear it's true, my wife can confirm it.

A friend of mine brought my cuurent wife to my local bar to "hang out" one night. They got there before I did and already had a high top table when I got there. My friend called me over to introduce me, I knew everyone there except for my soon to be wife. The table was full, so I was standing and exchanging pleasantries, blah, blah.

I stepped back from the table and noticed my soon to be wife, had a nice little "tramp stamp" on her back just above her jeans. I leaned over to her and said,............"I can't wait to nut on your tattoo".............She's been madly in love ever since.:D

[RNM018]

Thought that was what happened when you drank those mineral spirits..I meant Tequila. :p :D

You Know , I'd rather Drink A Qt. of Mineral Spirts , Before a Shot of Tequila !
Perhaps I can run over to the next county , and pick up some Wayne's Water , for the Ranch !

Rich Martin 018 ;)

[Budlight]

Thought that was what happened when you drank those mineral spirits..I meant Tequila. :p :D

no no, Tequila DOES make your clothes fall off.....

[Hydrophobic guy]

You Know , I'd rather Drink A Qt. of Mineral Spirts , Before a Shot of Tequila !

Thats because what ever your drinkin is crap takillya. :p


no no, Tequila DOES make your clothes fall off.....

Certainly makes mine. ;)

Altough sometimes it also makes me fall off what ever I'm sitting on to. :D

[mr fun]

gets them ever time :iagree: