10 reasons a handgun are better than a woman

[Raceman]

TOP 10 REASONS WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN

10. You can trade an old .44 for two new .22's.

9. You can have a handgun at home and another for the road.

8. If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will be impressed and let you try a few rounds with it.

7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.

6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you are out of ammo.

5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.

3. A handgun won't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

2. A handgun does not mind if you go to sleep after you're done using it.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN:

1. You can buy a silencer for a handgun!

[175checkmate]

Funny, but still in trouble

[Raceman]

Maybe so. My favorites are #10 and ESPECIALLY #1.

[Kathleen Michelle]

I can't wait to meet you at Jasper!!!!!!!!! lol:)



Did this go through? YES!!!!!!!!!!!

[Charlie M]

Men vs. Women: Round 1

NICKNAMES


If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for
lunch, they will call each other Laura,
Suzanne, Debra and Rose.


If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they
will affectionately refer to each other as Fat
Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


EATING OUT


When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and
John will each throw in $20, even though it's
only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller, and none will actually admit
they want change back.


When the girls get their bill, out come the
pocket calculators.


MONEY


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.


A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she
doesn't want.


BATHROOMS


A man has six items in his bathroom: a
toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of
soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.


The average number of items in the typical
woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be
able to identify most of these items.


ARGUMENTS


A woman has the last word in any argument.


Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.


CATS


Women love cats.


Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.


FUTURE


A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband.


A man never worries about the future until he
gets a wife.


SUCCESS


A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.


A successful woman is one who can find such a
man.


MARRIAGE


A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.


A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
change and she does.


DRESSING UP


A woman will dress up to go shopping, water
the plants, empty the garbage, answer the
phone, read a book, and get the mail.


A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL


Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
bed.


Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING


Ah, children. A woman knows all about her
children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.


A man is vaguely aware of some short people
living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY


Any married man should forget his mistakes.


There's no use in two people remembering the
same thing.

[Ally 1988]

Explain the difference between weddings and funerals ?

Either way your dead.:eek:

[Kathleen Michelle]

Weddings and Funerals....... come on CharlieM........ finish it!:)

[crazy horse]

Raceman, I think the beatles said it all { happiness is a warm gun}. My old lady must have like your post, She just walked away mumbling something about goin down ta Georgia and mowin that hillbillys lawn! She never has offered to mow my lawn. If she shows up down there and doesn't want to talk about your landscaping needs, Don't worry she owns a gun but it's small and she can't hit a damn thing.