Junk mail pay back time

[missinglink]

When you get ads in your phone or utility bill,include them with the payment.Let them throw it away.When you get those pre approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that,most of them come with postage paid return envelopes,right? Well,why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes!Send an ad for local chimmney cleaner to American Express.Or a pizza coupon to Citibank.If you didn't get anything elese that day,then just send them their application back!If you wan't to remain anonymous,just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.You can send it back empty if you wan't just to keep them guessing!Eventually,the banks an credit card companies will begin getting all their junk back in the mail.Let them know what it's like to get junk mail,and best of all they're paying for it!TWICE! Let's help keep our postal service busy since they say e-mail is cutting into their business,and thats why they need to increase postage again!Send this to a friend or two or three.....or fifty

[Psyco]

Why the hell didn't I think of sumthing like that!? I'm gonna get the wife to start saving all the junkmail so I can start having sum fun!!!:p

[typhoon]

Do you guys get junk faxes sent to you advertising stuff? I do...what I do is this- I have a piece of black paper and I fax it to the return number. It wastes a WHOLE lot of toner/ink to print it out at the other end! Mwahhhaaahhh!

Regards, Andrew.

[pyro]

The fax thing is a good idea, I've never got those.

But my credit card bill from Capital One always comes with offers to buy dinnerware, watches, and **** like that. Part of the ad spills onto the back side of the return envelope, you can't even get rid of it! I think I'll start enclosing the ads when I pay my bill.

[Tom D.]

My dad has been doing it for years, keeps the post office busy.
One day some called the house and asked 'Does your basement leak?" Dad said "Sure does we have fish and frogs down there for the kids to play with, we love it." They hung up!

[goodsax]

Now, what to do with the telemarketers??????;)

[Tom D.]

...."sir we have the best price on window any where, do you have old drafty windows ? Thanks but I don't have any windows. HEHEHE!
Hey you just won a free carpet cleaning! That's great but I don't have any carpet. In fact I got to watch where I step or I'll be in the basement.
.... We'll give you this credit card at 0% for 6 month's..... Gee thanks I'm about to go bankrupt and could really use it. I'll run it up to the max before I file so send it right away! HAHAHA!

[pyro]

For the telemarketers:

Use the counter-attack.

Everyone knows the call when it comes: There's a delay, then a lady mis-pronounces your name, obviously reading from a list. You can hear other voices in the background. Be prepared to be a smart-ass.

Ask them if you can have their home phone number, and ask them what time he/she eats dinner, so you'll know when to bother them.

Ask them if they'd like to join your cult.

ASk them what their annual income is.

Tell them that the person they're looking for is deceased. Explain some horrible death in detail so they feel your pain. Make them cry.

When they mispronounce the name, tell them that there's no such person at this number.

Tell them to go climb a pole.

Tell them to "go outside and play hide and go f#&% yourself."

[B.Mac]

Hi Mr. McCarthy!! How are you today Sir?? May I interest you in a free 2 week cruise in Hawaii just for answering a few questions on our survey?

OH YES...YES!!! I'd LOVE TO GO TO HAWAII!!! I'd love to answer your survey!! Whats your name?

Linda...

Great Linda!! Can I have your home phone number please?

I'm not allowed to do that Mr. McCarthy.......My first question is.......

Linda....Why can't you give me your number at home, I'll call you later tonight and answer your questions, I'm a little busy at the moment but I want to go to Hawaii.......

I'm not allowed to do that Mr. McCarthy.......

Why? Linda I really want this trip!!! Please!!

It's against policy.......

Why? Oh please Linda? I gotta go to Hawaii!!!

Well....er....ah....um..........

Linda?

Yes Mr. McCarthy?

Is it because YOU don't want me calling YOU at home?

CLICK....:eek: THEY HATE ME:D ;) :p

[175checkmate]

continue right after I pick my self off the floor from laughing.
This stuff is great, I will have to try some of this.

[Psyco]

Some knucklehead called in the middle of my Thursday nite chili-dog dinner wantin' to sell me windshield crack repair.....well......I said "crack?".....and motioned to my wife. I starting using my best ghetto syntax axing holmes how much he baggin' fo a rock. The wife (she's one of them highly educated white collar types) starts hollerin' in the back ground like she be Queen Gold Teefa, sumtin' about the kids need to leeve her Nite Train alone, and who had used all the Vagisil. Needless to say the telemarketer got pretty perplexed and hung up. We rolled aound on the floor laffin' for two hours. Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh....what suburbanites will do for entertainment.:p

[insptech]

Ring...Ring...Ring (Name Unknown, Number Unknown)

Me: Hello

Them: Good evening Mr. (mispronounced name)

Me: Hello

Them: Good evening Mr....

Me: HELLO

Them: Uh Mr.......

ME: HELLO!

Them: Screw it, CLICK........

[kathy]

I tell the ones that call me that they read very well and ask if they got A's in reading class. They don't seem to stay on the line after that. I figure they got to read...... that's what they get paid for.:)

[stratos]

you know i never could find a use for junk mail now i really have a good time sending in postage paid junk mail envelopes