Michael Martin
08-15-2002, 08:41 AM
1) "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships." - Sharon Stone
2) "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." - Barbara Bush,
Former 1st Lady
3) Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams
4) Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy
Crystal
5) Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart
6) "There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane:
Either you have diarrhea, or you're eager to meet people who do." -
Henry Kissenger
7) "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's
reading." - Steve Jobs, Founder: Apple Computers
8) "My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the
natural enemy of a tightrope walker!" Dan Rather, News anchor
9) "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I
said,"Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwartzenegger
10) "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black
men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." - Tiger Woods
11) Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it's the
only time of the month that I can be myself. - Roseanne
12) According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men are just
grateful. - Robert De Niro
13) AND THE NUMBER ONE QUOTE IS:
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
relationships." - Sharon Stone
2) "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." - Barbara Bush,
Former 1st Lady
3) Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams
4) Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy
Crystal
5) Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart
6) "There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane:
Either you have diarrhea, or you're eager to meet people who do." -
Henry Kissenger
7) "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's
reading." - Steve Jobs, Founder: Apple Computers
8) "My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the
natural enemy of a tightrope walker!" Dan Rather, News anchor
9) "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I
said,"Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwartzenegger
10) "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black
men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." - Tiger Woods
11) Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it's the
only time of the month that I can be myself. - Roseanne
12) According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men are just
grateful. - Robert De Niro
13) AND THE NUMBER ONE QUOTE IS:
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams